Still Smoke Free but Weigh Way More!

 

Sept 2008 marked my 2nd year anniversary being smoke free after 40 years being a smoker. Quitting was not as difficult as my imagination told me it would be and I sure wish I had done it 20 years earlier or 30 years earlier or never started. But what is done is done.

I'm used to having a somewhat thin body, and the combination of going through menopause and quitting smoking around the same time has left me with weight I didn't have even during my three preganancies. Horrors!

In my mind, I simply imagine doing some of the exercises I used to do as a young dancer (ballet, jazz, aerobics) and all will be well again. Well my imagination is active, but it is not getting the job done. What is it about aging that makes physical activity less agreeable and something I have to work at to make myself do....

I admit it, I'm struggling with this stage of my life. Much as I am trying to adapt, it is not going so well. My mind's eye still embraces my young woman-ness, rejecting my middle age woman-ness. The mirror tells me a different story than my mind's eye and there is internal disharmony. Until I get to a place of resolve and acceptance, my inner world continues to fight within itself.

I didn't intend for this to be a woe is me blog post and I hope it doesn't sound like it is. These are new challenges for me and while it is creating some chaos and confusion in my inner vision of my identity and self, they are nonetheless positive challenges. Embracing new challenges, finding new reasons to look at the blessings of life, living within the framework of a new identity as a middle-age woman -- life is good.

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07-07-08, still smoke-free. Happy Birthday to me!

 

Today is my birthday = 57 years old. I'm pleased and proud to report that I am still smoke free, having smoked my last cigarette September 2006. Means that I passed my one year anniversary of no smoking September 2007 and am on my way to second anniversary smoke free this year.

It's been entirely 'natural' to give it up without regret, and without much in the way of pangs or temptation to take it up again. Very much, absolutely wish I had given it up 20 years earlier.

Recording this post into my blog because my memory is experiencing holes now or 'senior moments' and I couldn't recollect which year I quit. Asked hubby when he quit and knew it was one year later that I quit. So he quit Nov 2005, and I quit Sept 2006. There now, if I forget again, it is recorded here.

I haven't thought much about it at all, but visited my account Eon because I received a  birthday greeting from one of the members.  Haven't been back to my Eon account, forgot I had subscription here. But when I did return, I see my one and only blog entry was about quitting smoking. So thought I'd update on that post and then go on from there.

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40 Years Smoking and I did it - Quit - cold turkey

40 year smoker at a pack a day. My husband, smoker for 12 years cared enough to quit first and lead the way for me. I know better than to become the 'reformed smoker' who nags other smokers to quit. All I can do is share what helped me get to the place of being able to mentally embrace the concept of quitting smoking.

I'm only 9 days 'clean and free of nicotine' so I'm still vulnerable and susceptible to a relapse - but I don't think that is going to happen. I don't sense or feel a relapse in the cards for me. And the why of that is another blog entry.

I have read all the 'ills' of smoking over the decades, but rarely come across reading that tells me what is good about smoking. Yes, that's right, I said what's 'good' about smoking. I don't see myself as a bad person and need to know that beyond addiction what is that cigarettes do for me that makes it so hard to quit.

Might then I recommend some reading that helped me because it actually indicates what is good about smoking; not why one should continue but what the brain/body rewards one gets out of smoking. The reading also helps break down what one can expect in quitting hour by hour!

Going in better prepared, I am able to outlast my brain signals of cravings as those cravings go from the discomfort of intensely fierce to nagging reminder to those longer periods of time of what is actual comfort.

So let me recommend;

Nicotine Withdrawal and Recovery SymptomsThe Effects of Nicotine Cessationby John R Polito

(a former smoker - takes one to know one, eh?)
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